


hold my hand and we're halfway there

by LailaLiquorice



Series: I'll hide you in my poetry { parrlyn oneshots } [4]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, Past Abuse, anne gets counselling and it's good, cathy is best girlfriend, this is the softest thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 22:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19412416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LailaLiquorice/pseuds/LailaLiquorice
Summary: Anne does her counselling homework, and Cathy is there for her always.





	hold my hand and we're halfway there

The letter in Anne’s hands felt like it weighed more than the world.

It had taken a while of thinking beforehand, but Anne had eventually made the enormous step to start counselling. And one of the first pieces of ‘homework’ she’d been given by her therapist was to write a letter to her old self. She could say whatever she wanted to say to the Anne of the 1500s, be it an apology or a congratulations or just a rundown of everything she had yet to experience. Whatever she thought would be the most helpful.

After folding it up on her desk, she turned to look over where Cathy had been sat on the bed to give Anne the morale support she needed while letting her have the space to pour her heart out on paper. She’d been by Anne’s side throughout her counselling journey so far; always coming with her to the sessions, letting her cry or rant or ramble or laugh afterwards if she needed to while telling her she was proud of her. Currently she was curled up like a cat in a patch of sunlight from the sun shining through her skylight, having fallen asleep while Anne was working, and Anne couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she looked.

Craving the comfort of her touch, Anne crawled across the bed to lie behind Cathy with her arms wrapped around her waist. Cathy stirred slightly as Anne settled down, humming a sleepy greeting as she turned her head to smile at Anne over her shoulder. “You ok?” she murmured quietly.

“Yeah, ‘m alright. Just wanted hugs,” Anne said, burying her nose into the crook of Cathy’s head and closing her eyes. She wasn’t lying when she said she was fine, but writing to her former self had left her feeling a bit fragile and in need of her girlfriend’s touch to ground her back to their present reality. “I finished the letter,” she added after a moment of quiet.

Cathy nodded understandingly, grabbing one of Anne’s hands and pulling her closer. “That’s really good,” she said, her caring tone obvious even though she was facing the opposite way and her voice was still raspy with sleep. “How’re you feeling? Dou you think it’s helped?”

Anne shrugged. “Yeah, think so. Felt a bit weird at first but then it got easier. Think I got a bit carried away really.”

Shaking her head, Cathy said “I think that’s a good thing that you had a lot to say. What did you tell yourself?”

“Her. Tell her.”

Cathy rolled over to look at Anne as she corrected her. “You’re thinking of your old self as a separate person?” she asked, but there was no judgement in her eyes as she met Anne’s gaze and held her hands.

She nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I am a different person. I look different, I sound different, the only thing that’s still the same is my name and my memory. And my scar,” she added as an afterthought, swallowing heavily at that.

“Sweetheart, I’m not sure if that counts as trying to accept your past,” Cathy said, not unkindly in the slightest. She moved one hand to cup Anne’s jawline as she continued. “I know what you mean, I feel the same too sometimes. But you can’t think of yourself back then as a different person entirely. A different version of yourself, maybe, but she was still you.”

Anne didn’t react for a moment, other than a muted nod as she covered Cathy’s hand with her own and closed her eyes. “Hey,” Cathy said gently, prompting her to open her eyes again. “I’m proud of you. You’re doing so well with all of this, even writing that letter must’ve been really hard. I’m always here for you and I’ll never not be proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Anne mumbled, smiling softly.

After a minute or two of quiet, she continued in a stronger voice. “I told her that our story isn’t done. That we’ll get to tell it our way eventually, and we’ll find people who understand us and believe us. I said I was sorry for everything she’s got to suffer through before she becomes me. And she’s allowed to feel hurt and betrayed and stuff. And I told her… I told her I was proud of her.”

Cathy was beaming with pride when Anne looked up at her. Anne shuffled forwards to wrap her arms around Cathy’s neck, comforted by the feel of her curls tickling her cheek and the smell of the floral perfume she liked to wear. “You know,” Cathy started softly, “there’s a quote I stumbled across a while ago which I think applies to us more than anyone else on this Earth.”

“What?”

“The ghost of the woman you used to be would be so proud of the woman you have become.”

Anne couldn’t help but cry at that, but it was a happy sort of crying that came from the feeling of someone knowing her so well it was humbling. “Love you,” she choked out, leaning out of Cathy’s embrace to kiss her lightly. She could feel Cathy’s smile beneath her lips and it made her grin too when they broke apart.

“I love you too,” Cathy said, eyes a little misty as she wiped Anne’s tears away.

She sighed under Cathy’s gentle touch, her face peaceful for a while before her brow furrowed in thought. “I had an idea,” she spoke hesitantly, glancing up at Cathy’s eyes for a split second before looking down at their joined hands. “I… I want to go back to the Tower. Find where I’m buried and read out the letter. I dunno, it feels like something I need to do.”

“You think it’ll give you the closure you need.”

Anne nodded at Cathy’s words, once again floored by the sheer understanding in her tone. “Yeah,” she nodded, then looked up at her and spoke in a small but hopeful voice. “Go with me?”

“As long as you hold my hand,” Cathy teased lightly, squeezing Anne’s hand as she said it.

Anne’s snort of laughter made Cathy smile brighter. “If you insist,” she retorted in a voice that matched Cathy’s teasing, but her eyes shone with gratitude that Cathy wasn’t going to let her go alone.

She knew just how much of an enormous venture it was for Anne to suggest going to the Tower of London; the Queens had been invited there for press near the start of their West End run, and while Kat’s immediate panic attack had been the official reason they all refused they hadn’t missed Anne’s face draining of colour at the suggestion either. That night had been their very first movie night all together, with a still-trembling Kat held in Jane’s arms while a very grey looking Anne spent the entire film curled into Cathy’s side as far away from Jane as she could possibly manage. Things had changed since then, in every aspect.

Cathy opened her arms as Anne wriggled forwards to cling onto her again, kissing her hair as Anne hid her face in Cathy’s shoulder. Things had changed in every aspect indeed, but she couldn’t imagine spending her second chance any other way. “Tomorrow?” she asked, resting her forehead against the top of Anne’s head. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Anne moved her head in a slight nod, hugging Cathy even tighter. “Tomorrow,” she echoed, her voice muffled by both her emotions and Cathy’s collarbone. She could feel anxiety crawling in her stomach at the thought to confronting the place where her first life had come to an end, but so long as she was holding Cathy’s hand she would never have to face her past alone.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt for this was “Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand” with parrlyn. I asked for tumblr prompts today and received many so prepare for many oneshots!
> 
> The aim was fluff, and while it’s sat on the emotional hurt/comfort border I think it’s soft. I’ve been thinking of writing something like this for a while; writing a letter to my younger self was my first bit of homework from when I was in counselling and I’ve always thought it would be interesting to have one of the queens do that. And the quote Cathy says is one of my all time faves. Could have made it longer but I have another 7 prompts to do!!
> 
> For anyone who's reading this series on AO3 and wondering when they missed the love confession: that's at the end of a 3 chapter fic not included in the series!! You can find it under the name of 'I have been a fool for lesser things'. 
> 
> I'm lailaliquorice on tumblr :)


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